i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
