Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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