I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
