It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
