East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
