my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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