yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just high enough for therapy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
