I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize