Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
