So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it was like eating out sand paper
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
