just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
