Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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