As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
