I need help removing her.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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