i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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