Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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