So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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