how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
