the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
