Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
