i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
