You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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