he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
