You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
