just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
