I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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