Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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