she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
