ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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