Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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