i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
