you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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