btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
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when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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