Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
