pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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