Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
