Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she pinky promised me she was 18
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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