It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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