Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think a kid would responsible me up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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