It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
