I never want to see another naked old woman again.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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