in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
