they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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