im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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