Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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