He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
