margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
