We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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