you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
