I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
