Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
