You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
