does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
