please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
