Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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