He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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