Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
