I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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