oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
50% drunk capacity currently
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
